Psychothérapie et psychanalyse à Montpellier, pour les adultes, couples, adolescents et enfants
Gorana Arnaud
Psychothérapeute / Psychanalyste
Psychothérapie et psychanalyse à Montpellier, pour les adultes, couples, adolescents et enfants
Anxiety and control
Gorana Arnaud • juin 20, 2020
A complicated couple
I have had many anxious patients tell me the same story. Well meaning relatives, friends, even therapists, tell them to just « let go of control », « stop trying to control everything » and « just go with the flow ». The arguments given by these well-meaning people are that the world we live in, and life in general, is by far unpredictable and so it makes no sense worrying about a possible catastrophic future scenario. Yes, our world and our lives are unpredictable indeed, and the recent lockdown situation and the COVID pandemic have once again shown us that. And so, yes, technically, worrying amounts to nothing more than waste of precious mental and physical energy. And yet, telling an anxious person not to worry is so counterproductive it is borderline criminal.
Any therapeutic approach dealing with anxiety must, in my firm opinion, focus on regaining more, and not less, control. Control over events, over emotions, over life in general. An anxious person often feels like a leaf in the wind, the slightest breeze sending them swaying this way or that, unable to decide or choose anything relating to their destiny. Feeling this weak is no way to live.
When we increase control over our environment, anxiety diminishes. This is a fact. In fact, the most terrifying anxiety is that of the helpless infant or baby, who is entirely dependent upon the care of another. If the adult is responsible, warm and dependable, this forges a strong personality for life. But if the adult is whimsical, abusive and/or neglectful, this sets the tone for an anxious predisposition, possibly life-long, unless treated.
So, with any kind of anxiety symptom, the therapist must teach the patient how to have more control over their life, not less. This can be done in small, practical steps. For example, preferring reliable friends over unreliable ones. Taking an active rather than a passive approach over diet, exercise and physical health in general. Standing up to oneself in the workplace and demanding clear communication from clients and superiors. In this way, as anxiety diminishes, self-esteem will rise.
Therapy's time and financial challenges are discussed, highlighting individualized progress, flexibility, and the therapist's aim for patients to feel free and secure.
What are the advantages of therapy in ones mother tongue ? Many famous psychoanalysts, including Freud and Lacan, advocated that if therapy is to be effective at all, it needs to be in the patient’s mother tongue.
Combien de temps faut-il pour faire un changement efficace? Quelques exemples et explications: une séance, ou plusieurs années?
Que se passe-t-il dans les six à huit séances qui sont nécessaires pour se débarrasser d’un syndrome anxieux tenace et handicapant?
Comment se présentent en pratique les différentes troubles de l’anxiété, et surtout comment se déroule leur traitement en psychothérapie?
What precisely makes up a great meditation practice? The lotus position? A special Buddhist cushion? Or something entirely different?