Therapy in our mother tongue

Mental health is of utmost importance, but often finding peace of mind is far from straightforward. There is no magic recipe that fits everyone. This is precisely why therapy is done on a one-to-one basis, because each one of us is so unique, and even though there might be similarities, no two experiences are exactly the same. If this was the case, reading self-help literature would suffise to « fix » each and every one of us. Often, self help literature is very informative and helps us to understand our triggers and reactions, but true healing remains elusive.

So how exactly does counselling and psychotherapy bring about relief? What is the magical ingredient that « heals »? The answer is surprisingly simple. Counselling and psychotherapy are what is called « person centered ». This means that the focus is on three things: the client, the therapist, and the relationship between the two. It is precisely the intimacy of the therapeutic encounter that is so unique and special. And for this intimacy to function optimally, therapy preferably needs to be in our own language. 

Many famous psychoanalysts, including Freud and Lacan, advocated that if therapy is to be effective at all, it needs to be in the patient’s mother tongue. The theory behind this is as follows. Our most traumatic experiences all stem from childhood. In therapy, we talk about them, often cry about them (there is an emotional discharge) and through this emotional discharge the intensity of the traumatic experience slowly but surely diminishes. We never forget, of course, but the pain gradually gets less and less. So, for this emotional discharge to be truly effective, the words we use in the therapist’s office must ideally be identical to the words we used, or heard, when we were a child. If the phrases that, for example, we heard from an abusive parent, are translated into an another language, the intensity of feeling will necessarily diminish, and therapeutic results will be less impressive. 

Another important element is what psychoanalysts call « transference ». This simply means the projections, positive and negative, that both patient and therapist place on each other. For therapy to be successful, there needs to be strong transference. We need to feel that the person sitting opposite us « gets us » on a deep level. And if our therapist not only speaks our mother tongue, but if we also know that she lived in or was raised in, our country of origin, and understands our cultural hangups and quirks, this guarantees a strong bond from the very first session. We feel far more at ease, and difficult and unspeakable things from our emotional world and our innermost feelings have an easier way of coming to the surface in words. 

Many scientific studies have highlighted the dangers of suppressing our emotions, which in the long term leads to resentment being stored in our bodies through all kinds of inflammation. This is the famous « mind-body link », over which so much has been written about. A simple, first and foremost step to remedy this would be by talking to someone we trust. Someone we trust because we share something fundamental with them. Someone who speaks our own language.